Title: You didn’t fall in love with me
Author: Ojos11 or xio11 on ff.net
Rating: PG
Pairing: CJ/Abbey
Summary: A late night visit, right after Qumar.
Previously posted at ff.net

Disclaimer: “The West Wing”, the characters and situations depicted are the property of Warner Bros. Television, John Wells Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This site is in no way affiliated with "The West Wing", NBC, or any representatives of Allison Janney or Stockard Channing. This site contains stories between two mature, consenting adult females.

You didn’t fall in love with me

The halls of the west wing were empty except for you. It’s always you that is left to the silence of the halls and the darkness of the office, you who is the one left to haunt this place way after everyone has left the building for their warm and comfortable apartments. You tell yourself that it’s the mountain of work on your dark mahogany desk that keeps you here this late but you’ve never been a good lair. You’re here because this is the best place for you to see her and you’re here past midnight because it’s you’re best chance to see her alone. Best chance but you almost never get that lucky.

It has been a horrible month for you but you don’t dare to complain because then it’s not as bad as the month turned out to be for Qumari women. And no one is going to sentence you to death for adultery without a fair trail though unlike the woman in Qumar who died because of this, you are guilty. And you don’t know of any other way to deal with this because it the 21st century and women are supposed to be equal and Americans have morals except when it doesn’t suit us. And we’re the good guys except when we need something and then the line becomes blurry. You don’t complain because you’ve already shouted at Nancy outside the briefing room and got chocked up on tears that you would not let fall.

You are not the only woman in the west wing but it seemed that way for the last month. Toby, Josh, and Leo look at you as if you’ve lost you’re mind but that doesn’t hurt as much as them thinking you lost your professionalism and there is only one person that can make this right but you don’t know when you’ll see her and its become worst as the days go by so you need to see her soon.

You hate this need more than you hate Qumar because you never meant to betray the president but your loyalty to him only goes as far as your need for his wife will let you. And you never meant to fall in love with her but now you realize that was never your decision to make, no one chooses to fall for Abbey Bartlet you just do.  You bring your hand to cover your eyes because you are too tired to be here but here you are. 

“You’re here late.”

You look up to see her framed by the door and the light that filters from the hall way. And you feel like the last month didn’t happen because she is standing in your door and looking at you with those honey color eyes that you’ve been dreaming about for the last week. You’re world just got a lot brighter.

“I have a lot work.”

“So those everyone else in the building Claudia Jean but you’re the only one here.”

You don’t say anything because you know she’s right and she is right in front of you’re desk now and it’s the closest you’ve gotten to her in more than a month.

“Can I sit down?”

“You know you don’t have to ask?”

Abbey moves to the couch, sits and crosses her legs. You love her legs, they don’t go on forever because Abbey is only 5’3 but you love them anyways because she wraps them around as you kiss her and its beautiful.

“True but it’d be nice to be asked.”

You look at her surprise because you’re not those people, at least not went it’s just the two of you and too late for any one to witness who you are when you’re alone.

“So how are you holding up?”

“Its work Abbey and you and I both know very well we don’t make foreign policy around here. So we deal with it as best we can.”

She’s smiling the knowing smile which makes you think its love but you know it’s really one sided. “I know that’s why I ask you how you’re holding up.”

“It’s been a long month Abbey but it’s my job and I love it even when I hate it.”

She nods and pats the space on the sofa next to her. You get up and a move to the sofa. You’ve never been as graceful as Abbey but you try none the less because she’s there and you want her to love you even though you know she never will. She grabs your hand and pulls you close and you give in. You think she’s the love of your life and but you know you’re not hers. But you keep this going because she didn’t fall in love with you but she loves the person she gets to be around you. And you can’t take that away from her because she is always a mother, wife, doctor, and first lady and she never gets to be Abbey. You love her so you can’t take this away from her even if it kills you in the end.