Title: Not Like This
Summary: Sam and Janet have a "first time", but not the way either of them would've chosen.
Rating: R or NC-17 (where is that line, anyway)
Disclaimers: not mine, never will be, just playing, don't sue me!
Warnings: non-con sexual activity, sort of.
"Janet, I am so sorry. I never wanted it to be like this. Oh god! Janet!"
Major Sam Carter found herself being shaken awake. The room was dimly lit but she could make out the form of Doctor Janet Frasier standing next to the bed. It took a few moments for Sam to realize where she was: the infirmary of the SG Command deep within Cheyenne Mountain.
"Sam, itís alright. Weíre home now. Youíre safe." Janetís quiet voice matched her gentle touch on Samís wrist as she took her pulse.
Sam blinked against the harsh light as the door to her room flew open. Jack OíNeil stood in the doorway, followed closely behind by Daniel Jackson and Tíealc.
"What is it Carter" OíNeil demanded. "Doc, whatís going on? Why are you out of bed?"
Janet glared at him, then motioned for Jackson to close the door as she shaded her eyes from the bright florescent lighting in the hall. Once it was closed, she was able to see much better and looked intently at Sam.
"Sam, are you o.k? Are you awake?" she asked.
Sam glanced at the men crowded near the door, and then at the petite doctor, noticing she too was wearing infirmary scrubs passing for pajamas. She thought back to the horrific dream that woke her. She had been back on the planet, P3104, back in the lab where she and Janet had been held captive. They had originally gone there to look into a trade of medical technology between the inhabitants who called themselves the Chloeans, but when SG Command received no communications after their initial 72 hours, General Hammond had sent the rest of the SG1 team in to bring them home. Which they did amid much zat fire, tear gas and not a few AK47 rounds, but neither Sam nor Janet had been up to a debriefing so everyone was still in the dark as to what had happened to them.
"And if I could have my way," thought Sam to herself, "No one ever will."
She looked up at Janet, noticing the dark circles around Janetís eyes and the worry lines creasing her forehead. Sam took Janetís hand from her wrist and clasped it tightly. "Iím fine, Janet. Just a bad dream."
"In that case, Doc," replied OíNeil in a quiet voice, "Why donít you get back into your own little beddie bye, and get some sleep. Thatís" he continued when it appeared Janet was about to argue, "an order."
"I outrank you, Colonel." Janet retorted even as she climbed back into her bed.
"Well, so what." OíNeil started pushing the other memberís of the team out of the small room. "Címon you two. Let the gals get some shuteye."
In the hallway, he looked at the door, then to the guard standing just outside it. "Wake me if you hear the slightest noise. You got that!"
The airman snapped to attention. "Yessir!"
Inside the room, the two women listened as the footsteps faded away, and they heard the guard sit down across the hall. Sam was afraid to breathe, let alone sleep. To breathe meant to make noise and noise meant Janet would stay awake listening, until she was sure Sam had fallen asleep. But this time, Janet was a patient too, and Sam resolved to stay awake until Janet fell asleep.
"Sam, I know youíre awake." The rich voice startled Sam but she didnít move. "So you might as well tell me what the dream was about." Sam heard Janet move on her bed, and glancing over could see the doctor now lay on her side, one arm propping up her head.
"How did you know I wasnít asleep again?" Sam grumbled.
"Because, my dear, you snore" Sam heard rather than saw the smile on the other womanís face as she teased. "Remind me to test you for sleep apnea after weíre back on duty."
"I do not snore." Retorted Sam "I just breathe a lot when I sleep" The excuse sounded lame even to her, and she allowed a short chuckle to escape, glad when she heard the doctor laugh with her.
"Uhuh," Janet yawned. "Thatís what they all say. But really Sam" turning serious Janet prodded, "What was the dream about?"
"Oh god, Janet" Sam could feel her defenses coming up, but felt powerless to stop them. "Do we really have to go into this now?"
"No, but I thought, given the circumstances this might be as good a time as any."
"Sure, weíre both here, both not likely to fall asleep any time soon, and we might want to get our stories straight before we talk to Hammond and the others in, oh letís see, four hours."
Sam considered this. Get their stories straight? Did that mean Janet felt as uncomfortable about what had happened on the planet as she did? Sam sat up and asked directly, "Get our stories straight? Donít tell me you want to lie about what happened? Janet we canít do that. It would endanger anyone else who ever goes to P3104"
Janet shook her head, "No of course I donít mean lie about what happened. Youíre perfectly right, we canít endanger any other teams, but you canít tell me you want to reveal everything that happened do you? It would threaten both our careers."
ĎSo thatís all sheís worried about then, thought Sam. Her career?í Sam answered, "So what things do you want to leave out then? The torture? The Chloeanís reasons for the torture? The end result? What?" Sam could feel herself getting angry. "I mean, if weíre gonna leave stuff out, we better be damned specific about what it is"
Janet sat up in her bed, and tried to explain in terms that Sam would understand. "I just donít think Hammond and everyone else for that matter need to hear about what was said during what we went through." She could not say the word "torture" even though it was accurate. "By us, I mean" she looked right at Sam trying to get her point across. "I donít think we need to report what we said. To each other" she finished quietly.
"Why not, Janet?" Samís eyes were blazing "Ashamed of what might have slipped out? Embarrassed perhaps? I, for one, didnít say anything that wasnít the absolute truth. Or is that it?" she lowered her voice accusingly, "Are you too upset by what I said to admit you heard me say it?"
Janet sighed softly, "No, thatís not it at all, Sam." She brushed a stray lock of chestnut hair behind her ear, "I just donít see what good it will do SG to know what we said, in what should have been a conversation we had long ago. In private" she emphasized. "Itís our private business and will have no impact on anything to make it public. Surely you can see that?"
"So youíre saying we keep to ourselves the stuff we said that has no impact on the mission itself?" Sam tried to digest what the Doctor was saying.
"Yes, Sam, that is what I am saying." Staring into Samís deep blue eyes, "And I am saying that at the soonest possibility, we go someplace private and talk about what was said."
On The Planet
Sam and Janet stepped off the Stargate platform and down to where the Choeans were waiting. The planet, officially labeled P3104, reminded Janet of Northern California with its giant evergreen trees, clear mountain air, and cool weather. Both she and Sam were wearing standard green fatigues, rather than the more officious Air Force uniforms with their tedious skirts and impractical shoes. Janet reveled in the freedom to move her toes in her comfortable, though seldom worn hiking boots. Not to mention the view of Samís rear in those pants. "Whoa there, girl" she chastised herself, "donít even go there. Everyone knows Samís got a thing for OíNeil" Especially, she reminder herself, after the Tokrah "lie detector" machine forced them to confess they had feelings for each other that were not altogether proper, even for teammates, but deeper. Janet took one last look at Sam, shook her head to clear out her thoughts, and refocused her mind on the upcoming mission. They had been invited by the Chloeans to examine their medical database to see if there was anything of value they could use to fight the Gould.
The Chloean ambassador, an older man with silver hair and bright flowing robes, stepped forward to greet the two women, "Welcome to Chloe."
Sam shook his proffered hand, "Thank you, we look forward to working with you."
"Right this way. Would you like to go to the library or the accommodations we have set aside for you?" He glanced at the two women, frowning slightly. "I thought there were going to be more of you. Where are Col OíNeil and Doctor Jackson? And Mr. Tíealc?"
Sam answered, "Thatís actually just ĎTíealc, not Mister, but he, and the others were called away on another matter. It was decided to send a smaller team this time, since we will mostly be concerning ourselves with research." She smiled at Janet, raising an eyebrow. "And besides, we two can get much more finished without the boys here getting in the way."
Janet laughed; "Right" she loved the fact that for the next 72 hours she would have Sam all to herself. She cared deeply for the other members of SG1 but time away from them and their antics, especially on a research mission like this one would be greatly appreciated. OíNeil tended to get bored by pure research while Jackson would get so deeply involved in some aspect of minutia that he often lost the forest for the trees.
"Well Janet, what do you say? Shall we get started or rest up first?" Sam glanced at her colleague, smirking as if she already knew the answer.
"Other than coming through the Gate, I havenít done anything strenuous today. I vote to get started."
The ambassador seemed pleased by the reply. "Alright, if you would follow me, I can take you to the medical facility. The library there is first rate."
The two women followed the tall man into a darkened room. He touched a panel on the door activating the lighting system. Both women could not help but gasp. The room was much larger than originally anticipated, more like small stadium filled with computer terminals, row upon row of books, films, periodicals, newspapers and information of all types. "My goodness," breathed Janet, "this is amazing. And you say this is just the medical library?"
The ambassador smiled at their reaction, "Yes, we have similar facilities for engineering, transportation, government, oh just about any subject you can think of. We take information very seriously here on Chloe."
Sam looked around the enormous room, "I guess so. Shall we?" she motioned Janet toward one of the computer terminals and seated herself at the next one over.
"Well, I will leave you to it then." The ambassador said, "Please use the communicator on the door to let us know if you need anything at all." He indicated the proper panel. "Shall I send someone to bring you dinner, or would you like to eat in your accommodations?"
Sam seeing the look in Janetís eye as she began working on the computer replied, "I think you better have someone show us to our rooms in about, what do you say, Janet? Six hours?" Janet nodded without taking her eyes off the screen. "Otherwise weíd stay here all night." Sam laughed as she said goodbye to the ambassador.
Sure enough, six hours flew by for both women. Janet was awestruck at the amount of knowledge the library represented, while Sam was impressed with the efficiency of the filing system. Any subject, it seemed, could be categorized and subcategorized down to the smallest detail. When the ambassadorís assistant, a tall redheaded woman named Betha, came to fetch them, Sam felt as though she had just sat down at the terminal. That is, until she stood up.
"Yikes." She exclaimed as her back popped itself loudly back into place.
Janet grimaced at the sound, "Oh Sam, that sounded awful."
"But it felt fabulous." Sam twisted her torso the other way, feeling and hearing the satisfying pop of vertebrae. "Oh yea."
Janet just shook her head, and asked Betha, "So where to now?"
Betha smiled showing white even teeth, "I was instructed by the ambassador to show you to your accommodations. Unless," she added stepping closer to Janet and looking down at her, "You would like to partake of your meal in town? I would be delighted to take you to my favorite dining room."
Janet found herself gazing into Bethaís speckled gray eyes. Sam suddenly felt like a third wheel, and, deciding she disliked the feeling in particular and Betha in general, cleared her throat. "Gee, Janet, Iím not so sure thatís a good idea on our first night here."
"Oh come on Sam." Janet protested, "Itís our first night here. Letís make the most of it." She glanced up at the tall woman again and said, "Why donít you show us to our rooms so we can change out of these dusty clothes, then come back and get us in say, an hour?"
Betha smiled brightly and to Samís dismay, took Janet snugly by the arm and led her away.
"Gee, guess Iíll just follow." Sam muttered as she walked behind the two women.
Three hours later, Sam had had enough. Betha monopolized Janetís attention all night, flirting, touching her, laughing too loud at her jokes, sitting too close. Janet seemed to be reveling in it, playing up to it, telling bad jokes and some of the more outrageous stories she had on the SG1 team. Finally, Sam felt she could take no more. She stood up saying curtly, "Time to go, Janet. Weíve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
Janet looked up at her, shocked at Samís rude behavior. "Sam! We havenít even had dessert yet."
"Tonight weíll skip it" she took Janet by the arm pulling the smaller woman to her feet. "Sorry Betha, maybe weíll see you before we go back to Earth. Címon Janet." Sam rushed out with a livid Janet in tow.
Once in their adjoined rooms, Janet made sure to press the door panel code ensuring the soundproofing feature was activated, as well as the "Do Not Disturb" message. She turned to face Sam saying in a quiet voice that belied the anger coursing through her veins, "Sam?"
Sam was standing at the window, staring at the bright lights of the city, "Hmmm?"
That did it. Janet shouted at Sam, "What the hell was that downstairs? How dare you tell me when to go to bed? Who the hell do you think you are? My mother?" as she paused to take a breath, Sam turned to face her.
"Whatís the matter, Doctor?" she sneered, "Worried you didnít have time to get Bethaís room number? Iím sure thatís not all she wanted to give you."
Janetís eyes flew open. "Samantha Carter, you had better hope I forget what you just said. What in the hell is your problem? Youíve got about ten seconds to tell me what is wrong with you tonight or I am going to contact General Hammond and have him remove you from command of this mission."
Sam crossed the room to tower over the shorter woman. "You wouldnít dare."
Janet stood her ground, "Just try me. You have five seconds."
Sam felt so angry she could only stand and stare at Janet. But a part of her wondered deep in the back of her mind, "What am I doing? Why am I acting like a jealous girlfriend? Itís not as if I have any claim on Janet." She took a deep breath, trying to get her emotions under control. "Janet look, Iím sorry I let my temper get the better of my mouth. I apologize for the crack about Betha." She glanced at Janet and saw that the doctor was listening carefully. "I just didnít like the way she was treating you and felt I needed to step in. If I crossed any boundaries, it was unintentional."
Janet thought carefully before responding, "You didnít like the fact that Betha was a delightful dinner companion?"
"I didnít like the fact that she was hitting on you all night." Sam could hear herself getting angry again, and tried to keep a tight rein on her temper.
Janet smiled, "So what did you dislike the most? That Betha was hitting on me or that she wasnít hitting on you?"
At this Sam smiled too, "Oh please, Janet, you know me better than that. I just didnít think it was appropriate that this woman who just met you was making so obvious a play for you. I mean, really. Itís our first night here." Sam walked over to what appeared to be a mini-fridge and found to her delight that it was filled with cold sodas and beer. She gestured to Janet who responded "Beer. Unless you disapprove of me drinking too."
As she handed the bottle to Janet, Sam continued, "Besides why would I care if Betha wasnít hitting on me? Itís not like sheís my type."
Janet found herself intrigued, "Letís see, so far according to the mission reports, three out of four worlds you and the team visit, you get hit on by someone of the indigenous population. And not just the males of these worlds, I might add." She took a long pull on the beer, "Which brings up another good question, Sam. What is your type anyway? Iíve known you all these years and youíve never once said what attracts you."
Sam almost choked on her beer. "Who? Me? I guess I donít really have a type." Suddenly the room seemed uncomfortably warm, and Sam took another long drink, emptying the bottle. Striding across to get another, she hesitated a moment then asked, "What about you, Janet? Whatís your type? I mean, I know you were married but you never seem to go out dating much either."
Janet ran a finger down the side of her bottle and replied, "Well, I guess all my marriage did was teach me what was defiantly not my type. Over achieving men with Napoleon complexes. On the top of my Do Not Do list." She glanced at Sam who was sprawled next to her on the couch. Inside her mind was abuzz. ĎNowís your chance you cowardí, she screamed at herself, ĎTell her, tell her how you feel. Tell her how the thought of her makes you smile. How the sight of her makes you look the other way for fear she will see the way you feel. How the smell of her hair right now is driving you crazy.í Instead she closed her eyes and asked again, "Stop avoiding the question, Major." Janet thought the tease about Samís rank would get her to answer, but when she didnít Janet opened her eyes to find Sam fast asleep. She watched Samís chest rise and fall with each breath, and gradually heard the light snore emanate from Samís throat. With a sigh of regret over opportunities lost, Janet reluctantly got up and, taking a blanket from the bed, covered Sam with it. She took a brief moment to stare at her friend and had to restrain from kissing the smooth forehead peaking out from a shock of blonde hair.
The next morning, Janet knocked lightly on the door between hers and Samís rooms before walking in. Sam was already up and dressed with a full breakfast set out on the table in the common room. "Some spread huh?" Sam exclaimed as she poured honey on a piece of toast. "Your new best friend Betha brought it. I guess she got the rooms mixed up because, boy, was she not glad to see me at the door."
Janet grinned as Sam poured her a cup of coffee. "Apparently" Sam continued, "I was supposed to be next door, but I managed to convince her that you needed your rest, and that she should go away for the next hour or so."
Janet took a bagel from the tray saying, "Hey, I canít help it if you fell asleep on my couch, Ms Party Pooper. I wasnít about to try to move you into your room. How did you sleep, by the way?"
"Great" said Sam "Thanks for the blanket." She took Janetís hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
Before Janet could respond to the touch of Samís soft skin, a bell chimed near the door.
"Gee, guess who." Sam reluctantly let go of Janetís hand but not before taking a long moment to run her thumb over Janetís knuckles. Janet was grateful for the distraction as Betha came into the room, sweeping past Sam and heading over to the table where Janet sat. Janet was still looking intently at her hand, feeling the vestiges of warmth from the contact with Sam.
"Janet, good morning. You are quite beautiful today. Did you sleep well?" Betha exclaimed as she moved her chair closer to Janetís. "I hope the accommodations are adequate. If not, I can certainly see that you are moved into another room."
"No doubt yours, eh Betha" muttered Sam. Janet smothered a giggle, but shot Sam a stern look. Betha chose to ignore the comment, and managed to move her chair even closer to Janetís. "Will you be working in the library again today?" her voice was low and sultry for such an inane question. Sam felt her protectiveness and jealousy emerge again, but was able to recognize it for what it was, unlike last night.
Janet however noticed the flush creeping up Samís neck and made a good guess as to its cause. To diffuse the situation, she got up from the table, saying "I think the rooms are fine. Perhaps tonight Sam and I will even make it into the right beds, eh Sam?" she made sure Betha saw the broad wink she sent in Samís direction. Now it was Bethaís turn to " do a slow boil. "There," thought Janet, "That should keep Betha away for a while."
"Ready to hit the books, Janet?" replied Sam, delighting in Janetís actions as she led the way out of the room.
They had only been working for a few hours when they heard the door slide open. Sam was surprised to see the Chloean ambassador enter with four large men dressed in black fatigues, similar to what Janet and Sam had on. Sam noticed with growing concern that the four carried weapons suspiciously like zat guns at their sides in leg holsters. She stood and placed her body between the men and Janet. "Something we can do for you, Ambassador?"
"Yes, actually there is, " he said with an oily smile. "As you know, we here on Chloe place a very high price on information. That is why I was so disappointed to find that only you two came for this mission, instead of your full contingent. But I will make do with what chance has provided me." He motioned toward the door. "If you and the doctor would be so kind as to follow me, we can get started."
Sam stood her ground, feeling very vulnerable without her own zat gun, deemed unnecessary for a mission of this type. "Get started with what?"
The Ambassador seemed surprised at the question but said, "I am responsible for collecting information on the personal habits of any cultures that come through the Gate."
Janet stood and moved to stand next to Sam. "Personal habits?"
The oily smile appeared again, "Yes, specifically mating habits. We here on Chloe have our cultural habits, but have discovered that not all worlds share our same sensibilities."
Janet responded, "Well it is an unusual request but we would be happy to explain Earthís various-"
The Ambassador interrupted, "No, no that is not the kind of information I collect. I need something more involved than just a simple explanation."
"How much more involved are we talking about here." Samís disquiet intensified and she unconsciously moved slightly ahead of Janet again.
"It will only take a few days to complete the process, then you may return to your research here." The Ambassador motioned the men closer.
"A few days!" Sam protested, "Thereís been some kind of mistake. We arenít even supposed to be here in a few days. Our mission guidelines say we will be back through the Gate tomorrow."
The Ambassadorís mouth turned downward, "I donít care much about your mission guidelines. I will send a message to your commander and let him know of your delay."
"No need to do that, Ambassador." Sam retorted, "Weíll just go now and avoid any confusion. Janet, with me!"
The Ambassador sighed and gestured toward the guards. Before Sam could do anything the four men fired their weapons, two at her and two at Janet. Janet fell to the ground at Samís feet. Sam tried to reach out and break her fall, but found herself falling as well, as everything turned dark.
When Sam awoke, she was disturbed to find that she was lying, restrained to a bed. She craned her head around to see Janet lying in the bed next to her, also restrained. She seemed to be asleep. Sam called out, "Janet. Janet! Wake up."
Janet turned her head toward the sound of Samís voice. "Sam, are you alright?"
"Yes, I think so. You?"
"Iím o.k. Where are we?" Janet turned her head to look about the room as a loudspeaker squeaked to life with the voice of the Ambassador.
"Now, shall we begin? In a moment, you will be released from your restraints, and you can demonstrate your worldís mating techniques. I understand that these may differ quite a bit from our own, so I will refrain from asking any questions until you have finished. Alright?"
"No, itís not alright!" Janet shouted in the direction of the loudspeaker. "What makes you think that weíll go along with this? Itís ridiculous."
As soon as the words were out of Janetís mouth, a cry ripped through the room. Janet looked over to see Sam rearing nearly off the bed against the restraints holding her down, clearly in great pain.
"Did I not mention the consequences if you do not cooperate?" the voice continued "You have both been fitted with monitors to measure your endorphin reactions, but they can also be manipulated here in the information collection room to create intense pain. Do you need a personal demonstration, Doctor?"
Samís face contorted in anguish, tears and sweat running down her face onto the sterile white sheets. Her cry turned into a terrified scream as the pain ripped through her body. She felt like she was being turned inside out. Janet immediately told the voice, "Fine, fine, weíll do whatever you want. Just stop hurting her!"
Immediately the screams turned into whimpers as Sam collapsed back onto
"No" she whispered when she was able to talk. Janet looked into the tear filled eyes and gently said, "Sam, we have to do what they say. We donít have a choice."
As she spoke, Janet could feel the restraints go slack, and she rushed to Samís side, checking her pulse. Concern evident on her face, Janet gave Sam a quick once over, deciding she was not seriously damaged and helped her friend to sit up.
"Very good." The voice seemed oilier than before "Now please begin."
Janet spoke up before Sam could have a chance, "Fine, just let us get our bearings. Our people donít generally do this knowing thereís an audience." She stared into Samís eyes for a long moment. "Sam, I will not let them hurt you. O.k.?" Wordlessly, Sam swallowed hard, and nodded. As soon as she saw the nod, Janet took Samís hand and kissed it lightly. She felt Sam squeeze her fingers. When she glanced up into Samís face again, it held an expression of longing she had never seen before. Janet brought her lips gently to Samís, reveling in the softness. She felt as well as heard a moan from the back of Samís throat. Janet pressed with her lips a little harder. When she pulled back, the longing in Samís eyes had been replaced by one of frantic desire. Her wide eyes were almost blue black now as she brought one hand up to caress Janetís cheek. Janet leaned her head into the touch, marveling at Samís hand, so soft and gentle. The hand made its way into Janetís hair, slipping the silky strands through the fingers before cradling Janetís neck and pulling her face closer. This kiss, unlike the first, held a promise of things to come as Sam took control from the petite doctor. Janet felt Samís tongue reaching out to her and gladly opened her lips. But rather than enter her mouth, Samís tongue lightly licked Janetís bottom lip, then the top lip. Sam brought her mouth to the side of Janetís neck and lightly nipped and licked it. She heard Janetís quick intake of breath and repeated the action, only to hear a light moan. Moving to Janetís clavicle in front, she noticed Janet was now wearing a light tunic and pants, buttoned up the front. As she suckled on the tender flesh, Sam slowly released each button until the shirt was hanging loose from Janetís chest. Sam slipped one hand under the material to Janetís warm skin. Sliding her hand around to Janetís back, then to the front and up to cup one full breast, Sam heard Janet gasp again as she made contact with the sensitive skin. Janetís skin was fair and smooth with a single mole or birthmark just to the left of the nipple. Sam brought her lips to the mark and kissed it reverently, feeling the difference in textures as she did so. Moving to the nipple itself, Sam was amazed to feel it constrict in her mouth. She licked the crinkled flesh and nipped at the ripe bud before turning her attention to the other breast, repeating her actions. Janet arched her back in invitation and Sam took as much of the breast into her mouth and suckled, while Janet couldnít help but cry out, "Oh god". Afraid she had hurt Janet, Sam pulled back, but Janet quickly grabbed her head and pushed it back. Sam sucked harder and used her fingers to pinch the nipple of Janetís other breast.
Sam could feel Janet pull roughly at the buttons of her shirt. She let go of Janetís breast and leaned back to pull the shirt over her head. Once rid of it, she looked at the doctor in wonder as if seeing her for the first time. She ran a hand lightly over the slight torso, around the full and heavy breasts bringing the nipples together which she then licked and sucked until the feel of Janetís hands on her own chest made her pull back.
Janet leaned forward to kiss each of Samís high, firm breasts, pausing to lick the areoles with broad strokes of her tongue. As Samís nipples hardened, Janet smiled and took one into her mouth, licking and nipping. Janet flicked one nipple with the tip of her tongue, then the other. When she glanced up, the blonde head was thrown back, eyes closed, an expression of rapture on Samís face. As she felt Janet slow her ministrations, Sam moaned quietly, "God, Janet, please donít stop." This was all the encouragement Janet needed to tip Sam backward onto the bed, and slowly pull down the light, linen pants. She was surprised to see there was nothing else underneath. Surprise was quickly replaced by desire as Janet caught the heady scent of Samís center. She could see how wet and slick Sam was. It coated Samís upper thighs and it only served to increase Janetís heartbeat. "Janet, please." Samís voice was ragged and harsh. Janet settled herself between Samís thighs, slowly licking up the moisture she found there. Each mouthful only increased Janetís need for more and she found herself lapping at Sam as though she was starving. She felt Sam begin to move against her mouth, undulating her hips, trying to bring more of Janetís mouth against her skin. Janet brought her hand to run her thumb against the protruding nub above her mouth. Samís motions took on a frantic quality, which Janet attempted to match. Suddenly Janet felt Sam convulse and heard her cry out. Waiting for the spasms to subside, Janet held her thumb still and kept her lips pressed to Samís center. She felt Sam reach for her and slowly climbed up the long, lean body kissing as she went. When she reached Samís face, Janet was shocked to taste salty tears. Sam buried her face in Janetís neck, crying out, "Oh God, Janet, I didnít want it to be this way." Janet held Sam close to her, kissing and murmuring, "Oh Sam, I love you so much, itís o.k. Shhh, Sam, I love you so much, donít cry baby, itís o.k." As Sam clung to Janet sobbing, Janet noticed the lights becoming brighter and soon she heard over the loudspeaker, "Yes, well, I think that will do for now. Why donít you two go back to your accommodations, and we can resume after you have had a rest and a meal."
Back at SG Command
"So youíre saying that the Ambassador was conducting these Ďexperimentsí without the knowledge of the Chloean government?" Janet was livid, her face pale with fury at the report by Col. OíNeil. "How could they not know?"
Jack replied, "It seems that the Ambassador was so good at creating new diplomatic relationships that the government chose to turn a blind eye to what he did in his off hours. In fact" he added, "we wouldnít have even known where to look for you two without his assistant Bertha letting us in on where his lab was."
"Betha" said Sam so softly OíNeil barely heard her.
"Right, Betha. Actually she was very helpful once we arrived and started asking around. It seems she has a little thing for the Doc, and didnít appreciate the, uh, nature of the Ambassadorís work. Without her help, who knows how long you two would have been captive."
"Gee Janet, good thing you two got to be so chummy after all." The venom in Samís voice made OíNeil wince and Janet shudder.
The General chose this moment to speak up. "At any rate, we did get you back and once I have your official reports on my desk, you are both hereby ordered to take at least two weeks leave, reporting only to the base psychologist for evaluation." He stood and gestured to the door. "Gentlemen, would you excuse us." The other members of the SG1 team filed out and shut the door behind them. The general turned to face the two women seated at the table. "Now ladies, I understand the delicate nature of what will be in your reports, but I can assure you that these reports will not leave this office."
"Yessir, may we go now sir?" Sam stood up before he had a chance to respond and quickly left the room.
Janet hurried after her and caught the door to Samís room before it shut. "Sam, we need to talk."
"Janet, I mean it. I canít talk to you about this, not right now." Sam faced Janet with her arms crossed in front of her.
"Sam," Janet began, trying to put her hand on Samís arm, but she pulled away and crossed to the other side of the room. "Iím not leaving until we talk about this, Sam. Please." She waited patiently watching Samís body language carefully. Finally, Sam took a deep breath. When she still didnít speak, Janet began, "Sam do you know what I remember the most clearly?" Sam shook her head. "It was when youÖwhen you said you didnít want it to be like this. What did you mean by that Sam? Tell me."
When Sam turned to face Janet, her piercing blue eyes were filled with tears. "Janet, how can you not know? How can you make me say it?"
"Not know what?" asked Janet stepping closer to Sam.
"Janet, when I said that, I wasnít in control. I wasnít paying attention to what I was saying." Tears streamed down Samís face. "You canít hold me responsible for what I said under those circumstances."
"Yes, actually I can, " whispered Janet, reaching up to wipe away a tear from the smooth cheek. "You have never been as honest with me, in all the years we have known each other, after all the things we have gone through, as you were in that room." Her voice began to rise, "So donít you stand there and shut me out, Sam Carter. Donít you dare!"
Sam looked down at the doctor in astonishment. "Fine. You want me to say it. Fine. I love you Janet. I have loved you for years. I dream about being with you. I hate that we canít be together all the time. I hate that loving you would ruin my career. I hate that I have been wanting you all these years and was too cowardly to tell you. I hate that it took some lunatic on another world halfway across the universe for me to be able to show you how I felt. But what I hate the most of all," she looked at Janet under long lashes, "is that even now that you know how I feel, it wonít make a damn bit of difference."
"What do you mean, it wonít make a bit of difference?" Janet took Samís hand in hers. Her mind was in a whirl. Sam loved her? Had loved her for years? Had dreamt about her?
Sam stared at the wall, "Janet, it doesnít change the fact that we still canít be together. Remember Donít ask, Donít tell? It was still in effect the last time I checked."
"So youíre telling me that you would let a petty Air Force regulation get in the way of the fact that we love each other?" Janet stared at Sam in disbelief. "I canít believe you, of all people, probably the smartest person on the planet, for crying out loud, think I would fall for that as an excuse." She reached up smiling and pulled Sam in for a bone-melting kiss. When Sam opened her mouth to protest, all she got for her trouble was Janetís tongue thrust into it, roughly.
Sam tried with all her might to resist. Not the kiss itself, which felt incredible. Instead she tried to resist in her mind what the kiss represented. What it would mean for her future, for both their futures. She knew that Janet would be as devastated as she if the Air Force expelled them. For each of them, their work was more than a job, it was a way of life in itself, an identity, without it neither of them would be happy or satisfied for long. Sam tried to think of a solution even as her body luxuriated in the feel of Janet in her arms, her tongue in Janetís mouth, herÖ
"Hold it a sec, Janet." She gasped. "I canít think straight when you do that."
Janet smiled, her face flushed, her hair in disarray falling in soft tendrils, her eyes bright. "Thinking is not exactly whatís needed here at the moment."
Sam couldnít help but smile at that. Janet seemed so sure of herself, so confident. "Arenít you worried at all about all this?" she asked.
Janet reached up to kiss Sam lightly, then pulled back. "Now that I know that you well and truly love me, I have nothing to worry about." She led them to the door, "All I need to worry about now is how soon can we get to my house?"
Sam smiled brightly and pulled Janet into a fierce hug, "Good, then I can show you how I wanted it to be for our first time together."
Janet looked startled, "That's what you were talking about when you said, "I didn't want it to be like this?"
Sam smiled again, "That's what I meant."